cutie pie

Such a handsome little guy!

He always smiles when he is sleeping LOL

OK,

so i LOVE my little baby boy! he is doing so great... he is all better from his cold and he is smiling and talking to me all the time. he also sleeps at night! i usually can get him in bed around 10pm and he will sleep until 10am or so... of course he wakes up every three hours but hey that's ok!!! i get a lot of sleep now... i dont even need naps. sometimes i do take a nap with him but i reallly dont need it! thank the Lord for that! i do miss sleeping 8 hours straight but it's all good. some nights i can feed and change him and have him back asleep in ten minutes flat. other times it takes 45 minutes...he is such a loveable baby when he his happy. he will cuddle when he is sleeping and even when he is just tired... he can be laying on me and i think he is asleep and i will look down and he is watching me just dozing off and on... sooooooo precious!!!

i have the worst time planning what he wears or what i pack for him. this weather is crazy. hot then cold hot then cold. geesh!!! and when he is in the car and he gets tired of being in his car seat he screams and gets so sweaty! so i then try to plan what he needs to wear in the vehicle and forget about the weather! LOL... 

he loves his swing and loves to watch me blow dry my hair. LOL he loves the sound of the blow dryer and as long as he can see me then he is happy. 

when he sleeps at night he makes noises most the time and will wake up one minute crying and then when i get to him he is asleep again! he does that for about an hour before being completely awake... i have to tune him out so i can get rest! he is such a funny kid! he is already in three month onsies and all the newborn clothes are way too small now. his legs and arms have filled out but are still so very long!!! it's so dang cute! he will kick and his arms fly around and he looks so funny.. i just know he is going to be very tall one day and a pretty big guy. but i can wait, i want him to stay small forever!!! 

i will get more pics soon. those overalls are from Jenny and he is just so adorable in them! his aunt joni got him some for when he is older so he is set!!! he is just soooooo cute!!! i really hope i can get a good pic of him smiling for his 2 month picture...i can wait though. time is going by too fast... :(

isn't he precious?

this weekend

Ok! so this weekend was so awesome!!! i got to see my family and they got to see how adorable and sweet Elijah is... i met them all in Dallas for my brother Josh's bball tournament. it was so fun. it was nice to have a little break and my mom and sister took great care of Elijah for me... the only time i held him those two days was so i could feed him! LOL. i missed holding him but knew they needed time with him and i needed a little break... it was nice and i came back home feeling so much better... it's not a bad thing for mom's to get a little bit of a break and i know that now... i love him so much and want to be the best mom i can be to him. 

Dennis and Ryan werent able to come because of work so that was sad... but we all did have a great time. we went to the mall and hung out and then went to Josh's games on Friday and Saturday which they won both of them!!! i love watching him play... he is so talented! this kid is 14 now and taller than me and i am 5' 7"!!!! he is growing so fast, everytime i see him he is bigger and taller... gosh my brothers have grown up so fast and it makes me sad but proud at the same time. they are such great guys... my sister is such a great mom too and so sweet to give me good advice and support. i am so excited we are both mom's now... Addyson is such a doll! and so smart! 

Elijah is getting so big and he is so precious... he smiles now and laughs sometimes in his sleep. i cant wait to hear his laugh more often. it's adorable!!! he is happiest in the mornings and loves to talk and smile at me... so sweet! i cant believe he is 6 weeks old now! 

i will get more pics soon. this weekend was busy and so fun and i think my mom and sister took a lot of pics too. so once they email them i will get them up. 

i am officially a stay at home mom now... it's bittersweet. i am excited and sad at the same time... i know that this is what i was meant to do and so i am very happy but i will miss my job and seeing my friends every day... i know that God has big things in store for my little family and i am so thankful to be opening this chapter in my life. God is so good! 

hope yall enjoy these pics! :)

Ha, why so serious Wade????

Grammy and Elijah... awwwww she enjoyed holding him so much!

ok ladies, isnt he just the cutest ever??? i call him Mr. Hearbreaker!

awwww Josh and Me!

Us sisters! isnt that a cute pic??? we look so much alike!

awww there she is again with me! she is such a doll!

Dustin and Me...we dont look a like at all now do we??? LOL

Mr. Basketball star and me!

My sweet little niece and her Aunt Kiss!

our adorable baby boy

Look at what i can do! I am a big boy!

Yes, i know i am cute!

Mom! what are you doing???

i see a smile... :)-He loves his outfit! thank you Aunt Michelle!

he LOVES bath time!

Aunt Joni gave me this outfit and i just didnt like it when mom made me pose for the camera! 

funny pic

This is a picture that daddy took. LOL so cute!!!

My one month old

ok i will make this a quick post! LOL while he is happy at the moment.

Elijah has changed so much. He definately knows our voices and turns his head when we talk to him. if i am holding him and daddy talks to him he turns to find his voice and the same for me. he doesnt like to be left alone in a room for any amount of time. he loves his swing but only for a certain time period... it can be five minutes or an hour just depends on him. he lifts his head up and holds it for almost a minute at times and loves to look around. he loves going outside but hates being tied down in his car seat. he loves being in the truck as long as it is moving and he loves being in his stroller as long as it is moving as well! he is very impatient and has a temper when things dont go his way immediately. he can be happy one second and screaming his head off the next. he loves to lay in his crib and talk to his toys and kick his legs and wave his arms around. he is a very cuddly baby and ultimately just wants to be held allllll the time... i dont get much done during the day but gosh i try hard to accomplish if anything at least one thing every day. he is very gassy at times and i think at times he is on the verge of being colicky. some days are much better than others and some are way worse. it just depends. he smiles a lot just not on purpose just quite yet... the other day i thought he smiled at me because he wanted to but i could be wrong. LOL

he has outgrown some of his newborn clothes but can still wear most of them. his legs are soooo long so his pants are the first to go if something is outgrown. he weighs about 10 lbs now and is filling out so well. his legs are still quite skinny but they have some meat on them now!!! he is doing so well nursing and doesnt take quite as long as he used to. he loves to sleep on his mommy too... especially when his tummy hurts he doesnt want me to put him down day or night. 

here are some cute pics for you. he wasnt that happy last night but we made it work. happy one month my sweet Elijah. i love you more and more each day. no matter what your mommy and daddy love you and will always need you in our lives! hugs and kisses sweet baby!!! 

the kind of parent I am/will be

Active Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best.

One-Way When it comes to setting rules and expectations with your kids, you're the grownup and you know what's best. And since this is the case, it's not really necessary to always explain the logic or rationale behind your rules and expectations. you're also scrupulously fair: you do your best to apply your standards equally to each child. Parents who take this approach believe that it's important for parents to make decisions for their kids and that, generally, rules and expectations shouldn't be open to discussion.

No Monkey Business No doubt about it: You're strict! In your opinion, kids need to be told what to do and how to do it. The approach you take to discipline is firm and direct. That's what's best for your kids, since being firm helps them understand who the boss is, and helps them respect and obey the important rules you establish. When your kids step out of line, you make sure there's an appropriate punishment - not that you enjoy punishing them, and you try never to be too harsh (or too lenient, for that matter). Parents who answered like you indicate that sometimes, spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.

Good morning sweet Elijah

just a few pics of our four week old baby!

My four week old baby! 

He was just kicking and talking so much!!

Wade, Elijah and Priscilla

zzzzzzzz

awwww

Priscilla, Wade and Elijah

So serious... 

hmmmm what did you do to him Wade??? LOL

Going for a car ride

Awwww so cute!

Delivery Story

k so i just realized i had not really posted about my delivery. truth is it still kind makes me cringe when i think back on it... it was definately NOT at all what i had imagined it would be. now i didnt ever begin to think i knew how it would go. not at all. but i did hear many different stories and just kinda assumed mine would be kinda similar to those. ha. boy was i wrong. my mother in law had taught me two rules before going in. number one: do not say you will not have an epidural and number two: do not say you will NOT have a C-section. she is a maternity nurse and has been doing that for over twenty years so um ya i listened very closely to her wise words and thank the good Lord i did. otherwise i think i would have freaked out a little more than i actually did. 

so friday night dennis and i stayed up till midnight and i had just had three days off and then worked that day so it was nice to just hang out at home... as we were going to bed i told him that i needed to start going to bed at a decent time cuz i dont know when i will have this baby and i need all the rest i can get... lol how ironic i know... so once we were asleep i woke up off and on with cramps... i kept it in the back of my mind that this was labor just simply because if i did too much during the day i would feel them and then they would go away when i would rest. the only reason i started getting concerned was because at my friday app. my doctor told me that if they come when i am over doing it but dont go away once i rested then i needed to time them... well since i was feeling them in my sleep that kept me from blowing them off completely. well the night went and i got some sleep and then around 6:30 am saturday morning they were hurting and i could not go back to sleep. every time i would start to drift off they would come. and so i decided to time them around 7 am... and they were five minutes apart... it made me nervous because the doctor had told me that if they were coming every five minutes for an hour to go to the hospital... so at 7:30 i woke dennis up and told him i was scared... i didnt know what to do... he jumped up immediately awake and told me to call my mom or his mom... and i didnt want to wake them so early on a saturday and i didnt want any false alarms cuz i knew they would come as soon as they could... and it's not a quick drive for them... so finally i called and woke my mom up. she told me to get up and get a shower and then time them... so i did and while i was in the shower dennis called his mom and told her how i was feeling. by then they were hurting even more... and i could still talk during them but it wasnt easy. she said it sounded like real labor and to go to the hospital once we had everything packed... so i went and blow dryed my hair and timed them and they were two minutes apart after moving around. that kinda freaked me out... once we had everything packed and our dog taken care of we headed to the hospital about 9 am. not once did the pain let up and was constant from every 2 minutes to every 4 minutes by then... so we get to the hospital and the people there took me seriously and wheeled me to a room to change and get checked. so i told dennis to please tell my mom to come cuz i thought this was the real deal and i would be crushed if no one came cuz our baby came too fast. so anyways. at this point i am thinking i am at least a 3 because of the pain. no i was a one. and boy was i crushed.

by late morning early afternoon both our mom's had made it and my sister and his two sisters. it was strange having them see me in a hospital bed and in so much pain but they were so sweet to come and be with us. they were all such a great support system for me... i appreciated it so much! 

so long story short they sent me home that day around 6 pm cuz even though the pain was way worse than when i first got there, i was not progressing at all. and my water had not broken AND it was the weekend and doctors do not do a thing to help you progress. so they gave me an Ambien and sent me home. it took forever to get to the car. i was in so much pain and they were coming so fast... i was so mad and asked the nurse over and over "how am i supposed to go home feeling like this???" she felt bad. i could see it in her eyes but it was the doctors orders... i was heartbroken. so we went home and i ate some pizza and took a bath and took the ambien. well i still felt the pain when i went to bed at 8 and even though the medicine made me incoherent to some extent i woke up every time i had a contraction. then my water broke and we left at 9 pm to go back to the hospital... or 10 pm. i cant remember LOL. 

once i got to the hospital she checked me and said i was a two... oh my gosh. i thought i was dying and i was only a freakin two???? oh my word. i was not happy by then and yet i was still kinda out of it cuz of that stupid ambien...  i couldnt have an epidural until i was a four, so they gave me some pain medication to help and by then i was so doped up (feeling the pain still ) and was in and out of it... then i was a five sometime that night (maybe 2ish?) and so they gave me the epidural and boy that hurt... LOL i have to be honest!!! well sometime after that i started feeling contractions on my left side. i told them that i still hurt and they were in shock. so then we checked my legs and the right one was numb and the left one was not... oh man... soooooo they came in and asked if i wanted to re-do my epidural. mind you i am still out of it so i didnt know what to do... i asked them what they would do. LOL cuz i couldnt think straight. sooo we decided it would be best to re-do it... well i didnt feel a thing and once they re-did it i was numb and could rest pain free... ahhhh. relief FINALLY. ha so then i am thinking no more pain. it's all over. hahahaha... that was funny. must have been the medicine messing with my brain... ok so at 10 am the doctor came in and said that i was a 6 almost a 7 and she said i had to progress at least one cm an hour or else i would need a c-section. so then i prayed hard for me to progress. by noon i was a 9.5 and was feeling pressure to push... she decided she could help me get to a 10 and that i was ready... so while they were getting ready for me to deliver i felt as if i was going to push a car out of me... ha and they are all telling me not to push!!! oh gosh that was awful. so i layed there breathing and praying that i can get this baby out quickly...finally they were ready for me to start pushing. my mom, mother in law and sister were there with dennis and i. i didnt even care who was there. i just wanted that kid out! as it was it was a whole day later than when i thought i was going to have him. i was more than ready!!! the doctor and nurse taught me how to breathe and everyone reminded me of what to do as i had to do it. i pushed for an hour and the doctor said it  was off the charts. i screamed a couple of times as i let the air out of my lungs and would hear "dont waste your energy just breathe" and at one time i had a panic attack and couldnt breathe at all...i thought i was going to die... i know this sounds dramatic but i was just pushing so hard and when it came time to let my breathe out and breathe again i couldnt. this only happened once and everyone cheered me on and told me to breathe and i finally caught my breathe and stopped panicking. i am a very clausterphobic person so that just made it worse for me. after 20 minutes i demanded to know what was going on and asked if she could see my baby and she said no... see i didnt realize this (medicine again) but he had not dropped completely... so i was going to have to push hard and for much longer if he was going to come out... so when she said no she didnt see him i felt the need to push even harder... i wanted that baby out. at 40 minutes she said i could keep pushing as long as the baby was ok... he was fine up until that point so i wanted to keep pushing. at one hour as i was pushing for the last time i opened my eyes and just saw my doctor look so defeated and sad and i let my air out and Dennis stopped counting for me... his heart rate had dropped and she told me it was no longer my decision and that i was going to have to have a C-section. i was crushed. i mean totally and completely crushed. you dont go in thinking after all this work that it will come down to being cut open. i started crying and panicking. i had been cut open before and it was a very rough recovery and so i was very upset and didnt want it to happen again. i know this sounds selfish in a way but i didnt ever hear her say there was anything wrong with the baby. they told me after i had him what she had said about it not being my decision. so i wasnt thinking he was in danger at all. in fact he was still kicking me the whole time i was pushing so i never ever once thought he was in danger. i just didnt want to have surgery... so anyways. my doctor and nurse calmed me down and told me they would do their best to make it as painless as possible for me... by then apparently there were soooo many family and friends out in the waiting room and i didnt even know it! and my dad and brothers had made it too! once Michelle let them know that i was going to have a C-section my dad came in and grabbed my hand and my doctor grabbed my other hand and he prayed for me before they pushed me off to have my baby. 

once we were in the operating room i had calmed down for the most part but was still scared. the last surgery i had i was out before the doors opened to the operating room. so being awake was a little freaky for me. i do not do well with blood and guts. LOL so thankfully they put a sheet up and i saw nothing! dennis stood by me the whole time and once he was born they took Dennis over to him to get pictures... then as they were sewing me up they brought Elijah to me and i got to kiss his sweet face and right there that made things all better for me... i was in heaven and didnt care about the pain at all. ( i did feel pain while they were doing the surgery and they had to give me some more medicine LOL apparently i have "hotspots"). anyways. so when i was put back together they gave me my baby and took me to the recovery room and then took elijah away from us. since he was born with a fever and possible pneumothorax we did not see him for three hours after he was born... i stayed in recovery for a while and tried to sleep thru the pain but it was hard... once i went back to my room they gave me more medicine and then brought me my baby... even though the pain was hard to deal with the first night as a new mom i still didnt think twice about it as long as i was holding my precious Elijah Dean... 

looking back i know that i will wait quite a while before i do have another baby but he was worth it for sure...it was hard not being able to deliver him the natural way but thankfully because of the wisdom and knowledge that God gives doctors, i was able to have my baby safely and the way i was supposed to have him. it made me sad to think of women back in the day that were in my same situation that might have died or lost their child thru something like this just because medicine had not come this far yet... i am so thankful for the doctor that God gave me to deliver my baby. She did a great job and i know she did it with Jesus right by her side. :)

Three Weeks Old!

Dad and I were getting ready to watch the Superbowl together. He was about to throw me a football so i got ready! Touchdown!

Mom and i were getting ready to go on a walk! I love being outside!

so our little guy is three weeks old today. so crazy. it seems like the past few weeks have been somewhat of a blur for me. it's been great being at home with my little man but at the same time it's been rough. it's a lot of hard work! i dont remember it being like this with my brothers. LOL probably cuz we had our mom and us little "mommies" to help. michelle and i loved to help with the kiddos and we jumped to change diapers and comfort them when they cried... i even remember waking my brothers up when it was nap time just to hold them. ha i would go in the living room holding one of them and mom would be like "did you wake him up?" and i would look innocently at her and say "no mom, he was waking up." um ya i lied, but i just loved holding babies back then and i still love it... but now i have way more responsibilities... so when it's nap time i kinda cherish it! LOL. and then there are times of the day that i just sit and enjoy him laying on my chest sleeping soundly. i definately LOVE those moments. and dont want to put him down EVER!

he is definately filling out and getting quite a personality. he has a temper and likes to stretch out and kick when he is mad... he loves to be held and when he is tired he wants to be held and if i lay him down he wakes up almost immediately. it makes for some very long nights for both of us... i really think it's just because he hates sleeping on his back. poor guy just cant comfort himself back to sleep on his back. 

he is definately going to talk a lot once he learns words. he loves to look up at you and make noises and when i put him in his bed to look at his mobile he kicks and in his own baby language he is laughing and talking... i love it... i cant wait to see a real smile. he is just too cute when we do catch those fake smiles. 

when you start talking he gets quiet and looks up at you or turns toward the voice he hears. and he holds his neck up for a long period of time when he wants to look around. he is a very strong baby and is growing very fast. i love that he is bigger now and filling out more. he is almost too long for some of his newborn clothes but his legs are just to skinny still for most of the clothes he has... 

his doctor app. went well. he went from 7 lbs 11 oz at 3 days old to 8 lbs 12 oz as of friday at 19 days old. the doctor was so happy to see just how much he had grown and how healthy he is. he was also so proud of me that nursing was going so well and i stuck it out. i just laughed and said well i have to admit at times i wanted to give up but then he would do better and i would stick it out. i am praying and believing he will be a healthy and strong baby boy because of it. the doctor said that rarely does he have babies come in that are sick often when they are nursed so that made me feel better. i always said i wanted to nurse but knew that sometimes it just doesnt work out so i prepared myself for that and i knew that it's not the end of the world. but i am thankful we arent constantly out buying formula! as it is i cringe when i see the prices of diapers LOL. this kid will go thru three diapers sometimes in one hour!!!! that's a lot! and i know i am not doing well for the environment for sure... cloth diapers are just not my thing... 

well i have rambled enough. just wanted to talk about my baby  boy. he is doing great. thanks for all the sweet comments and i hope he will get to meet you guys sometime soon. i know we cant wait to see family again soon! 

oh and Happy Superbowl!!! hope yall are having a wonderful time with family and friends! Go Cardinals!!!!

More pics

my little guy sleeping. he is 19 days old here

19 days old. isnt he just so adorable??? he has filled out so much. he weighs 8 lbs 12 oz.

Aunt Michelle and her first nephew!

Aunt Michelle and cousins Addyson and Elijah

Our little family plus Addyson!!!

Aunt Michelle, Dennis, Me, Elijah and Addyson!

Grammy and her Granddaughter and Grandson!

Me, Elijah and Addyson

Mommy and Baby

Aunt Michelle and her nephew!